The Moron Test

Sometimes I encounter things on the road that are too funny to pass up. Remember the forklift? This is funny like that, although it doesn’t involve a lane closure.

I’d just parked for the night, and decided to run in and pee before I dug out my laptop to goof off. When I ducked in the restroom, there were two women having a conversation, as women often do. Guys, I know ya’ll don’t talk while you’re on the shitter, but for women, it’s not unusual to continue the conversation you were having before you walked into the bathroom. At least, judging by the number of women I’ve seen do it, anyway.

So I’m in a stall, listening to them babble on. There’s talk about a fingernail getting ready to fall off, and whether the soap in the bathroom smells good or poopy, and then they mention the scale. Many truckstop bathrooms have scales, at least in the women’s. I don’t visit the men’s restroom.

Woman 1: “Do you think they have scaled in the men’s bathrooms?”

Woman 2: “Probably not. Just another way for society to tell us we’re fat.”

Long pause, water runs for woman 2 to wash her hands and bitch the water is cold and the soap smells bad.

Woman 1: “I think the scale’s broken. It says insert quarter. I did that!”

Woman 2: “So put in another quarter.”

Woman 1: “No wonder I’m broke.”

Woman 2: “You can afford another quarter.”

Woman 1: “See! I’m on it, and I just put another quarter in, and now it says insert quarter! It’s broken!”

They leave, bitching all the while about the broken scale eating her 50 cents. Apparently a scale doubles as a moron test.

This exchange took several minutes, and I was laughing quietly the whole time, afraid to come out of the stall in case they saw me laughing. I have no idea what they thought of me.

The kicker though? I make it out of the bathroom, and as I’m going down the hall to leave the truck stop, I see these two women. And one’s losing quarters to some game of “skill” and bitching. It was woman 1.